“Children Are Seasonal…”

“Children are seasonal…”. This statement hit me like a ton of bricks as I watched the interview of Gospel singer JJ Hairston and his wife, Trina, on Sister Circle Live.  They were on the show promoting their new book and was asked how they balance their marriage with parenthood. When Trina said she puts her marriage first because “children are seasonal,” I instantly thought of my daughter. I have been on an emotional roller coaster these past few days as the reality of my daughter now being a highschooler has set in. Monday I dropped her off at her new high school and I fought back tears as I watched her walk into this new stage of her life. So many thoughts went through my mind:

She’s entering into a whole new world.’

She’s going to be in the same vicinity as 17 and even 18-year-old boys.’

She’s still a baby at 13.’

Four more years and she’s gonna be going off to college.’

I’ve probably been praying more lately than I ever have before lol. But even in the midst of my worry, I’m trying to exercise my faith and trust that God has her. He’s been telling me in various ways that I need to begin to back off of her a little and allow her to grow. Hearing Trina Hairston make that statement about children being seasonal reminded me that our children are not meant to remain babies forever. While 18 years seems like a lot when your baby is only a year old, when that baby hits 9th grade the 4 more years that he/she has left in school feels like you only have a few months left with them. Hearing that statement made me think about the fact that I will be 38 years old when/if she goes off to college. At 38, I will still be young with a life to live and a purpose to fulfill. Now I understand why older married couples are often encouraging young married couples to date and have a life outside their children. Their reason is that once the nest is empty, the married couple will be strangers to each other if they neglected their own relationship so that their world would revolve around their children. Even as a single mom (prayerfully I will be married well before she goes off to college), I believe that that advice is relevant to me as well. If these past 13 years, soon to be 14, went as quickly as they did, these next 4 will be over before I know it. One day when I’m much older, her 18 years will have been but a fraction of my entire life. Thinking about it this way really puts things into perspective for me and helps me to make peace with the fact that my daughter’s childhood is ‘seasonal’. What’s most important now is ensuring that I am adequately preparing her for adulthood and being intentional about maximizing our time together. She’s going to grow up and eventually move out. And prayerfully she will one day get married and have children of her own.

If our own lives do not belong to us, what makes me think my child’s life belongs to me? This is hard truth to accept but it’s necessary. I would like to hear from other parents on this.

*If you are a parent and experiencing the same, please let me how it’s going for you.

*If you’re an empty nester, what advice do you have for me and other parents who are in this stage of realizing it’s time to cut the cord?

 

Until next time,
Love, Mizz K

P.S. If you haven’t already, please subscribe to my YouTube channel, Thinking Like a VIRTUOUS Woman, where I inspire women to think like the woman in Proverbs 31 both spiritually and financially.

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Remaining Neutral While You Wait

Recently, I watched a video featuring Pastor Touré Roberts and his wife, Sarah Jakes-Roberts. The video was called “5 Keys for Before and After ‘I do'” and it was a really good video for both singles and married folks. (I encourage you to check it out if you haven’t already.) I got a lot of great nuggets from the video but one thing stood out to me the most. When Pastor Touré was on the subject of the importance of receiving a confirmation from God before choosing a spouse, he mentioned that we need to remain neutral. As I’m sure you know, when you’re neutral it means you’re not on either side of a thing; you’re in the middle. The reason it’s imperative that we remain neutral is so we can hear clearly from God. Think about it. If you desperately want God to say, “Yes”, to whatever it is you’re asking of Him, that’s all you’re going to hear. God could be saying, “No,” but because you want so badly for Him to say, “Yes”, you may begin making excuses. “Well, maybe I didn’t hear God correctly.” “Maybe it’s me and I’m missing the yes.” When we’re neutral, we’re open to the fact that God may say “Yes” OR “No”. As I type this, I am striving to get to that place of neutrality as I await to hear from God. I believe it comes down to surrendering to God’s Will for our lives and trusting that He knows best. God knows us wayyyy better than we will ever know ourselves. When we can truly embrace that, it’s easier to be neutral and open to WHATEVER God wants for us. Many of us say, “I want God’s will for my life.” But do we really?

I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to remain neutral when it comes to whatever you’re seeking God about right now. Whether you want God’s answer about the spouse you should choose, the job you should take, or the new city you want to move to…  Don’t let your feelings keep you from hearing God clearly.

As always, feel free to reach out with any questions or prayer requests at love_mizzk@yahoo.com

 

Until next time,

Love, Mizz K

 

How to Create a Simple Budget

Let me just say that I’m the LAST person to call myself an expert lol. But I’ve realized in talking to different people that some people just do NOT know how to create a budget! So I’m sharing this video I recently posted to YouTube on how to create a simple budget. Creating this budget is just the first step in managing your money, but it’s the most crucial as it sets the foundation. Part 2 “How to Cut Expenses” will be coming soon.

 

 

I hope you enjoyed this video. If you haven’t already, check out my YouTube channel Think Like A VIRTUOUS Woman where my content is all about attaining the qualities of the Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31. I discuss everything from growing in Christ and knowing your value and purpose in Him, to having multiple streams of income and how to manage it. I also talk about life as a single Christian woman. Be sure to subscribe to receive notifications each time I post! Until next time…

Love, Mizz K

 

PS. Feel free to email me for any prayer requests, questions, or advice at love_mizzk@yahoo.com

side smile Kendra “Mizz K” Fowler is a poet, blogger, and the author of Pain, Promiscuity, Purpose: From Mess To Ministry and Not My Goodies: 10 Benefits of Practicing Abstinence until Marriage” which can be found on Amazon.com. You may connect with Mizz K on IG @love_mizzk and on Facebook @AuthorMizzK