March Seventeenth

To everyone else, today is St. Patricks Day. Many people are wearing their green and pinching those who forgot to wear theirs. And many people are probably celebrating by chugging down some beer. For me, every year on this day I celebrate my brother’s birthday, a brother I never met. He was taken away from my mother when he was about 6 years old (in 1982). She was trying to find him before she died which is one of the reasons I made it my business to locate him but kept hitting dead ends so I eventually gave up. But I still can’t help but wonder. How does he look? How does he act? What does he do?

He was born Isaac Frank Kittrell on 3/17/76 but I don’t know if his name was changed or if he’s even still in the DC area. As a teen, I used to walk around with his picture in my pocket until one day I accidentally washed the jeans with the picture still in them. Completely faded it. So now I have no picture, no info, nothing. But I do trust that if it’s in God’s Will for me to meet him, I will.

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Being a mother can bring out the best in us. It can also bring…

…the ‘not-so-good’ out of us. Since I became a mother (12 years ago) I’ve learned things about myself that I don’t think I would have ever learned had I not become a Mommy. While my daughter brings a silliness out of me that I thought I left in my childhood and love that literally makes my chest hurt, having her also brought out my brokenness, insecurities, and all the pain I had buried inside of me. I write about this in my article Confession From An Imperfect Mother so I won’t go into detail here, but I’m grateful that God used her to show me-me. What prompted me to write this article was realizing how the text I got from my daughter’s teacher today completely changed my mood. He texted me that she wasn’t following directions and was even rude when he redirected her. I’ve recently realized that I could be having a perfect day, but the moment something is off with my daughter, my perfect day is no more. What is that? Am I the only Mommy who this happens to? I don’t think I’m the only one but I certainly don’t think it’s a good thing.  I could be wrong but I think maybe this happens when we tie our identities to our children. The moment they act up, we question whether we’re doing a good job. When we punish them, we wonder whether it was too harsh or not harsh enough. When we’re in public and our kids are acting out, we look around us to make sure no one is looking. Or am I the only one that can admit this? lol

I’m told often what a great mother I am and how great of a job I’m doing, but people don’t realize how much I lean on God to help me. I’m constantly praying for Him to help me say the right thing, help me deliver the most effective consequences, help me lay a solid foundation so that when she’s on her own she doesn’t stray too far from it. (Proverbs 22:) I go to Him for everything concerning her. After all, He created her so He knows the best way to deal with her.

I see more than ever how important it is for us as Mommies to take care ourselves so we can take good care of our babies. If we don’t, unfortunately, they end up suffering consequences that have nothing to do with them, but everything to do with us

Motherhood is a journey in which we have no idea the bumps and turns we’ll run into along the way. Many of us are just winging it while many of us are reading every piece of literature we can on how to be a good Mommy. Whichever of the two you are (I think I’m in the middle lol), know you are not alone. That’s actually one of the things I find comfort in, knowing there are other Mommies out there who feel the same as me. And being able to come to this blog for therapy, to transparently write out what’s on my mind. Whether 10 people read it or 10,000 there is something therapeutic about taking the thoughts in your head and writing them on a piece of paper or typing them onto a computer screen. You instantly feel better because you’ve let it out. If you haven’t already, you should try 🙂

If you can relate, I’d love to hear from you. If you can’t, I’d love to hear from you as well. I need to know how you detach so well lol.

As always, feel free to reach out for advice, prayer requests, etc. at love_mizzk@yahoo.com

Until Next time!

Love, Mizz K 

 

side smile Kendra “Mizz K” Fowler is a poet, blogger, and the author of Pain, Promiscuity, Purpose: From Mess To Ministry and Not My Goodies: 10 Benefits of Practicing Abstinence until Marriage” which can be found on Amazon.com. You may connect with Mizz K on IG @love_mizzk and on Facebook @AuthorMizzK

 

 

Steve Harvey Not Fit To Give Relationship Advice?

I’ve recently noticed how many people discredit Steve Harvey’s advice because he’s on his 3rd marriage. But I’d like to think he has learned some valuable lessons from having two failed marriages. Furthermore, when I open up my Bible, I see God has a history of using “UNQUALIFIED” people for His glory.

If Steve Harvey is disqualified as a relationship expert because of his past, that would mean Paul (formerly known as Saul) should have been disqualified from writing the majority of the NT because he was once a Christian-persecuting pharisee.

If Steve Harvey is disqualified as a relationship expert because of his past, an ex-drug addict should be disqualified to speak on the importance of living a drug-free life.

If Steve Harvey is disqualified as a relationship expert because of his past, that means I should be disqualified to teach youth and young adults about the importance of sexual abstinence because of MY promiscuous past.

Get where I’m going? It is our MISTAKES, lessons learned, and hardships that allows us to help those who are where we USED to be. (And if you’re honest, when you’re going through something, you’d rather hear from people who have been where you are.)

God can use EVERYTHING for His good. I’m not a super fan of Steve Harvey who believes everything he says is golden. I just believe we should stop trying to disqualify who God already qualified. If He says yes, who dare say no?

“But how do we even know he is called by God?” One might ask. We don’t. Only he knows. And it’s not even our business. But I know one thing, he is using what he learned to help others.

Serious question… What are YOU doing with the lessons you’ve learned?