Category: Relationships

I remember being in a “situationship” years ago where I felt like I needed to prove myself to this man that I was a good woman. I felt that if I sexed him good and catered to him, he’d see that I was the prize and would eventually marry me. Well, I soon found out that no matter how much I sexed him, fed him, and catered to him, he would never love me the way I loved him. Not only was I giving him all the milk without him having to buy the cow, but I was also competing for a heart that belonged to another woman. I won’t go into detail on this post as I do so in my book Pain, Promiscuity, Purpose: From Mess to Ministry  Let’s just say, me and everything I had been doing for and with him was a nonfactor when his ex came back into his life. He admitted that she was the only woman he had ever truly loved and he never got over her. At the time I was devastated, but looking back there were a couple instances where his behavior suggested he wasn’t over her. I just thought I was going to take his mind off of her as she wasn’t coming back to him anyway. The problem was that I didn’t even love myself enough to know whether she was coming back or not, I had no business serving as a placeholder. Knowing I was his “right now” should have been enough for me to walk away. I don’t regret that relationship as it ultimately propelled me into becoming the woman I am today. It was in that situation that I learned that when YOU devalue you, HE devalues you.

Somebody somewhere is thinking, “He’s with ME, though.” And that may be true. Y’all may live together, sleep together and even have children together. But where he IS means nothing if it’s not where he truly wants to be. In my latest YouTube video, I reference how Jacob in the Bible truly loved Rachael but he settled for Leah. Check it out below and let me know your thoughts in the comments…