Someone asked how I would describe my 2017 in 3 words. Without even thinking, I said, “Just the beginning.” This past year was the beginning of walking in purpose, the beginning of no longer allowing the opinions of others to hold me back, but it was also the beginning of opposition.
In Summer 2017 I published my first book, Pain, Promiscuity, Purpose: From Mess To Ministry. I had been procrastinating on that book for almost two years. I picked it up and put it down. Picked it back up. Put it back down again. But in January 2017, I decided I was not going to allow fear to keep me from walking in the purpose God had for my life. I knew He had given me the gift of inspiring others through writing, but I had been sitting on it because I was afraid. Afraid of what people might say. Afraid people wouldn’t like my writing. Afraid I would spend months writing a book nobody would read. But then God being the Father to me that He is, assured me that I am not for everybody. And that the people He has called me to will read my book, and they will be blessed by it. Once I learned I am not for everybody, it was the beginning of me not worrying about what anybody thought of me and what they thought of my writing. I realized there would be people who will read it and turn their noses up. I realized there would be people who won’t like it just because my name is on it. And it wasn’t until 2017 that I learned to be okay with that.
Once I began to use the gifts God gave me, doors started opening. Doors that I hadn’t even knocked on opened up for me. I was invited to various events to share my story and to perform Spoken Word poetry. It’s amazing how so many opportunities were birthed from an act of obedience on my part. I had been continuously hearing messages about delayed obedience being the same as disobedience. And it convicted me because I had a passion for writing and I believe God put that passion inside of me because it’s what I was SUPPOSED to be doing. I kept feeling God telling me to stay focused and write, and that once I did, I would see WHY it was so crucial that I did. Now that I’ve received many testimonials about how my book has inspired people to grow closer to God, change their lifestyles, and even write books of their own, I understand why it was meant for me to share my story. I believe it’s possible that someone else’s destiny depends on our obedience. Think about how you were first inspired to give your life to Christ or to make a change. Was it a sermon you heard? Was it a family member? Was it just a nice person who decided to share a word with you? Can you imagine what your life would be like if they had not been obedient to God’s calling? Furthermore, there just might be someone out there depending on you to do what God has called you to do.
2017 was also the beginning of opposition. I don’t think I have ever experienced as much opposition as I did in 2017. Up until late 2016, I had rarely talked about my childhood openly. But knowing I was writing a book which detailed a significant portion of my childhood, I knew I needed to start talking about it. And there were many people who were not happy about it. My father being one of them. For one year, I did not see nor talk to him. All year I mourned the loss of my father. Even though he was alive, at times it felt like I had lost him. After a couple months of calling him, trying to get him to talk to me, and writing him a letter, I gave up. And boy was it painful. Throughout the year I had countless moments of sadness and confusion, followed by anger. There were a couple of times I had to call a close friend to talk me out of going on social media and posting things I would later regret. While I was happy about all the great things going on, I cried myself to sleep some nights because of the opposition I was facing from my father and other family members. I am happy to say, though, that my father reached out to me this past Thanksgiving. It was the first time in a year that we had had a conversation. And then in December, for my daughter’s birthday, he called me and asked me to bring her to his house to get her gift. Things are not back to normal yet, but I’m happy to be back in touch with my father.
One of my very good friends reminded me that opposition was inevitable now that I was walking in my purpose. She also reminded me how the enemy would try to use whatever and whomever just to get to me. While that is very true, I’ve also realized that opposition is not always of the devil. Sometimes God will allow intense pressure while He’s molding us to be who He created us to be. It is in those trying times that our endurance and character is shaped, and we learn to rely on God entirely.
I’ve never been one to make resolutions or claim the upcoming year as “My Year.” But I can say the surface hasn’t even been scratched yet. 2017 was just the beginning of what’s to come. Be on the lookout for more books, more blog posts, and even short stories.
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Love, Mizz K ♥