While it has not always been popular to abstain from sex, I believe more people today are open to giving it a try. More than ever, there are books, videos, blogs, and social media posts promoting sexual abstinence. And, it’s not only women. Men are promoting it too! There is a double standard that says men don’t practice abstinence because “they have needs.” I believe that is one of the biggest lies the devil ever told. He wants us to believe it is impossible, but I am thankful more men are speaking out and declaring that abstinence is possible for everyone.
In my new eBook, “Not My Goodies: 10 Benefits of Practicing Abstinence until Marriage, I highlight some of the benefits I’ve discovered while on my journey. I’ve also talked with different men and women to get their perspectives as well. I am a former sex addict. I can write that now without fear of judgment because I’ve finally learned to accept that was what I was. Sex literally ran my life. It was all I thought about. Most people can remember a time when sex wasn’t a dominant thought. I can’t. As far back as I can remember, sex has been on my mind, even when I was three years old. I wrote about this in detail in my book, Pain, Promiscuity, Purpose: From Mess To Ministry. Being freed from my addiction has helped me realize there is more to life than a few minutes of pleasure followed by the heartaches and the consequences that sometimes come along with sex. This freedom has been the happiest period of my life. For the first time, ever, I am living a sex-free life. Click here to find out the first benefit I discovered of abstinence.
Mizz K ♥
Five years ago, I was engaged to a man I loved but wasn’t in love with. Deep down, I knew I shouldn’t marry him as the only thing that excited me about marrying him was the actual wedding itself. I didn’t get excited at the thought of spending the rest of my life with him, nor did I get excited about taking on his last name. I was only excited about walking down the aisle in a beautiful wedding gown. I was even more excited about having “in-house” (some of you know what this is). In my mind, I NEEDED to get married. It was the only way to “CURE” my promiscuity.
Needless to say, I did not end up marrying him and I’m so glad I didn’t because I’m pretty sure I would have cheated on him. See, I had yet to address my problem. It wouldn’t be until about 2 years later that I would realize that I had an addiction. And there was no way I could be disciplined in marriage if I couldn’t be disciplined in my singleness. Many people (like myself at one point) think that getting married is the cure to sexual addiction because once they’re married “they can get it all the time”. But the truth is, if we don’t practice sexual purity while we are still single, it will not miraculously get easier once we’re married. I know women who are married to men with mistresses– pornography and masturbation. The man has no need for the woman because he’s good all by himself. I know women who are married and are unsatisfied with their husbands because they need something “new”.
Knowing this is what happens when one does not overcome sexual addiction in their singleness, I refused to let that be my story. I literally cried out to God to free me. And then I begin taking the necessary steps to overcome. I just wanted to tell somebody today that marriage does not cure sexual addiction. If you are addicted to masturbation, pornography, multiple partners, while you are still single…. that addiction is not going to magically disappear once you say “I do”. NOW is the time to start practicing sexual purity. I’m telling you…. 2 years… and I’ve never felt more FREE.
If you need prayer, advice or tips on how to abstain, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be happy to share what I did and what I do. I know the struggle and I know its REAL!
~ Love, Mizz K 💜