Beautiful Lady, Stop Breaking Your Own Heart 

When you first met him, he chased you for months until you finally gave in and gave him a chance. You got to know him and begin dating and you find yourself liking him…. REALLY liking him. So then you give it up. You become even more attached to him and you begin asking him, So where is this going?” “What are we to each other?” He tells you that he is not ready for a relationship; you are disappointed because you want to be his girlfriend. But you don’t want to push him away by pressuring him so you decide to accept what is and continue playing the girlfriend role even though you are just “friends”. You cook for him, wash his clothes, & begin to have him around your children. You’re spending money that you don’t really have. You’re spending less time with your family and friends because you’re spending more time with him; and you wouldn’t dare look at another man because he is all you want and need. More time has gone past; your feelings are getting stronger, emotions are deeper and you demand that he gives you a relationship or else you walk. This time, his excuse is that things are so great that he does not want to mess anything up by putting a “title” on the relationship. Again, you are disappointed because you want that title but you let it go because you do not want to push him away by pressuring him. So you continue on with the “situationship” and you are not happy because there is no real commitment except his reassurance that he loves you and doesn’t want anybody else except you. After a few months, you find that he is spending less time with you… His “Good morning Beautiful” and “Goodnight Baby” texts have ceased. You begin noticing that other women have begun calling and texting him. He barely answers your calls anymore and you’re lucky if you see him once a week. When you confront him about it, he says he is single and reminds you that he told you from the beginning that he did not want a relationship. He is tired of the “pressure” so he leaves. He won’t return your calls nor texts. Now you are heartbroken… Crying yourself to sleep every night and beating yourself up for being so stupid again. Now you have to explain to your children why he is not around anymore. 

How do I know this scenario so well? Because I’ve been there and I know a lot of other women that’s been there too! And you know what, we all did it to ourselves. Let me tell you how.

First off, we should have our minds made up about what we will and will NOT accept..  And stick to it. And When a man says he does not want a relationship, HE DOES NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP! Either he really doesn’t want one or he does want one, but not with you. Either way, you have a choice. You could either continue to date this man and accept that he is not going to be with you; OR, keep it moving if you know that a relationship is what you really want. Don’t stick around hoping to change his mind. More importantly, do NOT have sex with a man who is not your husband! Yep I said it. Before I tell you why I have a quick story:
I had decided that I was going to be abstinent until I got married. I was still dating and I had friends but I had my mind made up that I would never have sex again unless I was married. Well, I had this one friend who I began to spend a lot of time with… too much time actually. I knew that I should have kept myself out of compromising situations that would tempt me to sleep with him; it was easy at first until we started spending time alone. We would kiss and fondle each other but not have sex. I found myself fantasizing about making love to him; I would feel guilty about my thoughts because I knew that according to the Bible, fantasizing was just as worse as actually doing it. So to make myself feel better about fantasizing about him, I would pretend that we were married so at least I wouldn’t be fantasizing about sinning. (Yeah right) This made me want him even more. He was actually okay with the fact that I was waiting until marriage so it wasn’t like he was pressuring me or anything. But… I eventually gave into the temptation to have sex with him. Needless to say, things didn’t work out with him but because of the deep emotions I developed for him it was so hard to let go of the situation. Not only was I hurt because things did not work out, but I had a deep sense of guilt. I had made a promise to God that I would remain abstinent until I got married but I fell into temptation. I had never regretted something so much; I grew impatient and could not wait for marriage. I needed to fulfill my needs. Even knowing that God told me years ago that the man I fornicate with will not be my husband. Still I gave in. And got hurt. But, I did that to myself.
When we decide to open ourselves up to a man sexually, we open up ourselves to possible heartache and pain. Sex is something that is to be shared between HUSBAND and WIFE to procreate and express their love to one another. I don’t think that God is trying to “take the fun out life” by commanding us not to fornicate. I think part of the reason is that He’s protecting us. Think about it. How hurt were you when you stopped dating someone who you had never slept with? I’ll wait. Now, think about how hurt you were when things did not work out with someone who you shared your body with? When two people have sex, it is said that their souls connect which is why they become so attached…even more for women because we are naturally more emotional.
It is time for you to realize that a lot of what you are going through is your own fault. A man cannot use you for sex if you are not having sex with him. It is time for you to stop putting yourself through the pain. Stop being a “wife” to a man who is not your husband.
It took me a long time and a whole lot of mistakes to think the way I do now. I am at a point now where I am not settling; I am not accepting less than what God has for me; I am not giving my body to a man who is not my husband; I refuse to break my own heart!
I know you are probably tired of seeing people say “know your worth!” But ladies, you really do need to learn WHO you are. Get into God’s Word & see what He has to say about you. I did and it saved me from myself.
I’m getting to know myself more & more and I am AMAZING!
Love, Mizz K ♥

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© Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK', 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK' with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

God Knows BEST

A few days ago I heard a radio message about trusting God and not getting discouraged when our prayers are not answered right away; and believing He knows what He’s doing when our prayers are not answered at all. This message really stuck to me because it made me think about the many times I’ve prayed for something and didn’t get what I was asking for. I can even remember thinking, Somebody told me that God will give me the desires of my heart so why is He not doing so? (Key phrase: somebody told me) When I actually read Psalms 37:4 for myself, it says, “Delight yourself in the Lord AND He will give u the desires of your heart”. Hmmm, I thought. DELIGHT myself in the Lord. Well what does it mean to delight myself in the Lord? To delight myself in Him is to find happiness in Him…. To find JOY in Him…. Gladness. So I must first get to know Him…. attach myself to Him and Trust Him. I can’t delight myself in what I cannot trust.

So what makes me trust Him? When I look back and think about all the things He saved me from, I realize He’s always had my best interest at heart. He has been looking out for me my entire life by NOT answering every single prayer.  Had he answered my prayer to let me get that job I wanted so badly, I would not have ended up in the position I’m in now which I LOVE! I would not have met my dear coworker/friend who has been instrumental in my spiritual growth. Her knowledge of the Word and thirst for God began impacting my life from our very first conversation. Think about something you prayed so hard about in your past that you can now look back on and say, “Thank You Lord for not giving me what I asked for!”  Had He answered your prayer for that woman or man to be the ONE, you would be miserable now that you think about it. If He had answered your prayer about getting you out of that storm that you felt was killing you slowly, you would not have built up the strength that you have today from GOING THROUGH IT! If you can look back on your life and say, ” If it had not been for [this] I would not be as STRONG as I am today; I would not have as much FAITH as I have in Him today; I would not be as CLOSE to Him as I am today”–   you, my friend, should be able to trust that God was looking out for you back then and He has not stop looking out for you now.

Trust in Him and know that He often has something much Greater in store for us than what we are asking for. I think about a friend of mine. She was a single mother with one child at the time, but took on two of her family members because their mother could not take care of them. She lived in a small apartment and had been trying to move to a bigger place. But every place she applied to denied her application. She did not understand why she kept getting denied because she had good rental history, good credit, and decent income. I remember her being so discouraged. I didn’t understand it either. Why won’t anybody except her application, I thought. Turns out, it was all apart of God’s plan. After being denied by numerous apartments, and just as she was giving up, she was approved to move into a 3 bedroom house! She could rent to OWN this 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, finished basement, big backyard HOUSE. And the payments were much lower than what she would have been paying if she had rented an apartment. I was so happy for her. I remember saying to her, “Wow, so this is why you were denied everywhere you applied. Thank God for not answering your prayer!” Imagine if He had answered her prayer right away and  given her an apartment. She would not be living in her own home right now with more than enough space for her now family of 6. God had a much bigger plan for her than a 2 bedroom apartment.

We may be praying about something that we want so badly but God seems like He’s not hearing us. Or, we may be holding onto something that is not for us, not realizing that God has something, bigger, better, and greater than what we can ever imagine.

 I believe that once we are truly delighted in Him our desires will begin to change anyway, and become His Will. One sure way to know that your prayers will ALWAYS be answered each and every time? Pray for God’s Will in your life. That is one prayer that will ALWAYS be answered.

Love, Mizz K ♥

 Like what you read? Please subscribe to my site by clicking ‘Subscribe to Mizz K’s Posts’ to receive an email notification for future posts 

© Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK', 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK' with appropriate and specific direction to the original content
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