Since I’ve released my book, “Pain, Promiscuity, Purpose: From Mess To Ministry” quite a few people have confided in me telling me they also have stories they wish they could tell. And each person admitted that they were worried about what others may think, specifically their families. I tell people what one of my friends told me when I told him how nervous I was about releasing my book. His response was, “It’s not your job to worry about their feelings. Whoever hurt you shouldn’t have done what they did.” Now I will say this, writing a book is not about EXPOSING anyone. It is about telling your story and releasing what you’ve held onto for years (for some people, their entire lives). It is about sharing your story of how you overcame so others will know they too can overcome. It is about glorifying GOD by sharing what He brought you through or what He delivered you from. And yes, some things and people will get exposed. But does that mean you protect those people at the expense of your own healing? Absolutely not! If it makes you feel better, you can attempt to talk to the person/persons (if you have a relationship with them) and let them know you’re about to write a book, post a video, or share a testimony that includes your experience with them. No matter what, though, there will be many people who will not like it. Especially if that person is loved. And this is when you’re going to have to (excuse my expression lol) put on your big girl panties. I had to. I’ve had family bad mouth my book who haven’t even opened it up lol, because of what or who they THINK it’s about. I’ve learned that this is just something that comes with sharing your truth. Prepare to have people upset with you. Prepare to get talked about. Prepare to have family members stop talking to you. Prepare to be blocked on Facebook. Also… prepare for God to be glorified when you share how your past could have taken you out but because of Him, it DIDN’T. Prepare for people to come to you telling you how much they needed to read your story because they’ve struggled or are struggling with the same thing. Prepare for people to tell you how they’ve been holding in their testimony for years but hearing or reading yours gave them the courage to finally let it out. Prepare for people asking you to come speak to their youth group or a group of women/men who are going through the very thing you came out of. Sharing my testimony and writing my book have been so freeing. And the number of people who have been blessed is confirmation for me that I’m doing what God calls me to do. And that’s glorifying Him by being transparent about my mess that has turned into my ministry. Share your story.
~Love, Mizz K ❤
Read my story here: https://www.amazon.com/Pain-Promiscuity-Purpose-Mess-Ministry-ebook/dp/B073QYHBPV/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1525210312&sr=1-1&keywords=pain+promiscuity+purpose
I want to pick up my phone and call my father, but I’m afraid. Afraid that he won’t pick up the phone. Afraid that he will pick up the phone and tell me he doesn’t want to talk to me. Afraid of what I will feel if either of those two things happen.
It’s been 11 months since we talked. It was Thanksgiving last year; he told me he had nothing to say to me and hung up the phone. A few days prior, my aunt, his sister, had shown him my Facebook Post detailing some of the things I had experienced while I was living with him during my teenage years. And it got him so upset that he said he didn’t have anything to say to me. I called him multiple times and left messages. I called his job and left messages. And finally, I decided to write him a letter. I told myself he if didn’t respond to the letter, I wouldn’t reach out again. And I didn’t. He never responded to the letter. I was beyond hurt. My father wasn’t talking to me and it was all because of what my aunt had shown him. And what she showed him was the truth. It was written in the 3rd person narrative referring to myself as “she” so it wouldn’t be obvious that I was talking about myself (unless they knew me personally). But still it upset him. I had planned on telling him I would be talking about my childhood in the book I was writing (and has since published) but I had yet to find the right time. Sometimes, I wonder if I had told him before my aunt got to him if things would’ve been different. If I had gotten the chance to tell him “In my book I write about what it was like living with you, but in the end I write that things got better.” Would he have been upset or would he have been okay with it? I guess I’ll never know.
After sending the letter and getting no response, I slowly began to move on with my life. I had my days. I went from being hurt and crying my eyes out some days to feeling angry and wanting to call him screaming cuss words other days. But eventually I was “okay”. Today I am “okay.” Which is why I am afraid of calling him. I don’t want to bring those old feelings back of feeling rejected, unwanted, and unloved. I just want to be okay. Eventually I will need to try again if he doesn’t call me first. I’m actively in prayer about this now, that I’m prepared whether he answers the phone or not.
~Mizz K 💜
*Life is too short to go without talking to a loved one because someone is “upset”. We’re not promised tomorrow, not even the next hour. If you are in this situation and the one holding the grudge, I beseech you to let it go. Whatever it is. Think about how you’d feel if that person dies today. Is it really that serious? Let it go.