It’s funny how we sometimes look at other women and envy their bodies, not realizing that same woman is looking at the next woman and envying hers. I was having this conversation with a friend who, like me, has some things she would change about her body if she could. While we both have issues with our bodies, our issues are not the same. Up until recently, I had tried to gain and keep a few extra pounds while she is trying to lose a few pounds. We talk often and are very open with one another about our insecurities as far as our bodies are concerned. Our conversations sometimes go like this (no kidding), “You are so lucky you are small; you would look great in that dress.” “But at least you have big enough breasts to fill out THIS top I wish I could wear”.
Looking at us, most people would probably say our bodies are fine. I’m a size 6 and I’m not sure of her size but she is a well proportioned “thick” woman. In my opinion, she has a wonderful shape; but no matter how much I tell her that, she has to know and feel it for herself. The truth is, a lot of women struggle with this same issue. I’m sure any woman reading this can think of at least one thing about her body that she wishes she could change with a snap of her fingers. Newsflash: That one thing you would pay to change, another woman is dying to have.

This was something I realized after talking to one of my patients. As I was checking her weight, she was complaining about how she hated her body and wanted to lose weight. I could not believe what she was saying because this woman was the definition of what they call a “Brick House”. She had full breasts, a tiny waist, round hips, and a very nice behind. I was literally standing there with my mouth open looking at her hourglass figure. I said, “Girl what are you talking about?? Do you know how many women would love to have your body? People actually pay money to have your shape.” She said she HATED her body and wished her hips and behind were smaller. She went on to say that she had a hard time shopping for clothes, and she couldn’t wear belts because her waist was too small. She also said that she had a hard time with men because she never knew if they were genuinely interested in her or only wanted her for her body. When she gave me all these reasons why she didn’t like her body, all I could say was WOW. I had no idea that women with “perfect” bodies had issues too. After listening to her and talking to others, I found that there are more women who are unhappy with their bodies than there are women who are satisfied. Don’t believe me? Turn on your television. It’s proven in the media, women proudly flaunting their fake breasts and fake behinds. But the thing is, these women have not learned to accept themselves for who they are and how God made them. Meanwhile, these are the same women who most of us are sitting at home wishing we looked like.

I remember seeing certain women and thinking, “Wow I wish I had a body like that!” But I have realized that the best way for me to be unhappy is to compare myself to other people. When you compare yourself to others, you tend to worry about what you don’t have rather than what you do have. Ladies, we have to remember that we were made perfectly in God’s image. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, whether we are size 8 or size 18. God made us who we are. Stop looking at other women and comparing your breasts to hers; and stop comparing your stomach and behind to hers. Stop worrying about the fact that her waste is smaller than yours. Especially if you have had children. Giving birth is a blessing; so thank God for the experience and let the marks be a reminder of that beautiful miracle.

If a healthier body is what you want, then take the necessary steps to make that happen. Maybe diabetes or hypertension run in your family and you want to lower your risk by losing weight; that is a great reason to want to lose weight. But please don’t let your motivation be the girl you see on TV or the woman you saw at the mall that had the “perfect body”. Do not believe society’s definition of a perfect body. A perfect body in my opinion is the body God made just for YOU.

Love, Mizz K ♥

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Men,

Have you ever been trying to get to know a woman & she seemed kind of interested but wouldn’t give you a chance?  You wonder why she barely responds to your texts? And when she does, it’s usually dry….. Why every time you ask to see her, she is “busy”? Besides the fact that she could already have a man & that she could truly be very busy, it could also be something else: it could be your approach.

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If you constantly ask her, “When are we going to chill?” Or “When can I see you?” that tells her a few things that are not good. It can tell her that you are 1) not serious about her & probably just wanna get in her pants 2) she is not worth a real date 3) you do not know how to treat a lady because you are used to little girls who are okay with “just chilling” as a first date. If you are not serious about her or anyone at the moment, this is not for you. But, if you are serious about wanting to get to know her & are serious about finding your GOOD THING AND OBTAINING  FAVOR FROM THE LORD, keep reading. I am giving the first couple of steps to get to know her. KEEPING her is a whole other subject we can discuss later but you have to GET her first. I am not an expert; I am just writing from a woman’s perspective & I have to tell you, this is something that A LOT of guys do. If that is not you, cool. If it is, please stop right now, okay? Kay.

First, when talking to her you must express interest in something that’s important to her. Maybe ask questions about her career or what she enjoys doing…. Or maybe even about something she’s told you she has been working on. Us women love talking & we love for a man to LISTEN; and we like to feel like you actually care about what we are telling you. Ask about her children if she has them… & her family. Showing interest is very important because we often times come across guys who barely like to talk, let alone listen. Famous line from guys, “I don’t like talking on the phone.” Well WE do! For hours sometimes lol. I’m just saying, show us something different.

Ask her OUT. Do NOT ask if you can chill. Do NOT ask if she can come see you or if you can go see her. Ask her out to dinner….. Or some place where you could have fun & get to know one another (bowling, for example or going to a live show). I am not saying you have to spend a lot of money & you have to “wine & dine” her & go all out. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I am only saying that when you are truly trying to get to know a WOMAN (hint: not a girl) you have to show some effort. Like I said talk to her, get to know her, date her. And give her some time to warm up to you…. If you get her number today don’t ask her if you can see her tonight. For me, I like to talk on the phone a little bit with a man just to see if I even want to go out on a date with him. Every woman is different; I am only speaking for myself & for some other women I know who agree with me.

Now,

What if you are ALREADY doing these things & she is still not responding, not trying to going out on a date with you, & still not showing you any interest? Unfortunately, she is not into you & probably doesn’t know how to tell you; so she ignores you hoping you will eventually get the hint and give up. I know that’s not the right way to go about it. She should be honest about how she feels, which is the mature thing to do. But some find it easier to “disappear” than to formally break things off. 

This is all for now. More discussion on this topic coming soon. 

Love, Mizz K ♥

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