Beautiful Lady, Stop Breaking Your Own Heart
When you first met him, he chased you for months until you finally gave in and gave him a chance. You got to know him and begin dating and you find yourself liking him…. REALLY liking him. So then you give it up. You become even more attached to him and you begin asking him, So where is this going?” “What are we to each other?” He tells you that he is not ready for a relationship; you are disappointed because you want to be his girlfriend. But you don’t want to push him away by pressuring him so you decide to accept what is and continue playing the girlfriend role even though you are just “friends”. You cook for him, wash his clothes, & begin to have him around your children. You’re spending money that you don’t really have. You’re spending less time with your family and friends because you’re spending more time with him; and you wouldn’t dare look at another man because he is all you want and need. More time has gone past; your feelings are getting stronger, emotions are deeper and you demand that he gives you a relationship or else you walk. This time, his excuse is that things are so great that he does not want to mess anything up by putting a “title” on the relationship. Again, you are disappointed because you want that title but you let it go because you do not want to push him away by pressuring him. So you continue on with the “situationship” and you are not happy because there is no real commitment except his reassurance that he loves you and doesn’t want anybody else except you. After a few months, you find that he is spending less time with you… His “Good morning Beautiful” and “Goodnight Baby” texts have ceased. You begin noticing that other women have begun calling and texting him. He barely answers your calls anymore and you’re lucky if you see him once a week. When you confront him about it, he says he is single and reminds you that he told you from the beginning that he did not want a relationship. He is tired of the “pressure” so he leaves. He won’t return your calls nor texts. Now you are heartbroken… Crying yourself to sleep every night and beating yourself up for being so stupid again. Now you have to explain to your children why he is not around anymore.
How do I know this scenario so well? Because I’ve been there and I know a lot of other women that’s been there too! And you know what, we all did it to ourselves. Let me tell you how.
First off, we should have our minds made up about what we will and will NOT accept.. And stick to it. And When a man says he does not want a relationship, HE DOES NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP! Either he really doesn’t want one or he does want one, but not with you. Either way, you have a choice. You could either continue to date this man and accept that he is not going to be with you; OR, keep it moving if you know that a relationship is what you really want. Don’t stick around hoping to change his mind. More importantly, do NOT have sex with a man who is not your husband! Yep I said it. Before I tell you why I have a quick story:
I had decided that I was going to be abstinent until I got married. I was still dating and I had friends but I had my mind made up that I would never have sex again unless I was married. Well, I had this one friend who I began to spend a lot of time with… too much time actually. I knew that I should have kept myself out of compromising situations that would tempt me to sleep with him; it was easy at first until we started spending time alone. We would kiss and fondle each other but not have sex. I found myself fantasizing about making love to him; I would feel guilty about my thoughts because I knew that according to the Bible, fantasizing was just as worse as actually doing it. So to make myself feel better about fantasizing about him, I would pretend that we were married so at least I wouldn’t be fantasizing about sinning. (Yeah right) This made me want him even more. He was actually okay with the fact that I was waiting until marriage so it wasn’t like he was pressuring me or anything. But… I eventually gave into the temptation to have sex with him. Needless to say, things didn’t work out with him but because of the deep emotions I developed for him it was so hard to let go of the situation. Not only was I hurt because things did not work out, but I had a deep sense of guilt. I had made a promise to God that I would remain abstinent until I got married but I fell into temptation. I had never regretted something so much; I grew impatient and could not wait for marriage. I needed to fulfill my needs. Even knowing that God told me years ago that the man I fornicate with will not be my husband. Still I gave in. And got hurt. But, I did that to myself.
When we decide to open ourselves up to a man sexually, we open up ourselves to possible heartache and pain. Sex is something that is to be shared between HUSBAND and WIFE to procreate and express their love to one another. I don’t think that God is trying to “take the fun out life” by commanding us not to fornicate. I think part of the reason is that He’s protecting us. Think about it. How hurt were you when you stopped dating someone who you had never slept with? I’ll wait. Now, think about how hurt you were when things did not work out with someone who you shared your body with? When two people have sex, it is said that their souls connect which is why they become so attached…even more for women because we are naturally more emotional.
It is time for you to realize that a lot of what you are going through is your own fault. A man cannot use you for sex if you are not having sex with him. It is time for you to stop putting yourself through the pain. Stop being a “wife” to a man who is not your husband.
It took me a long time and a whole lot of mistakes to think the way I do now. I am at a point now where I am not settling; I am not accepting less than what God has for me; I am not giving my body to a man who is not my husband; I refuse to break my own heart!
I know you are probably tired of seeing people say “know your worth!” But ladies, you really do need to learn WHO you are. Get into God’s Word & see what He has to say about you. I did and it saved me from myself.
I’m getting to know myself more & more and I am AMAZING!
Love, Mizz K ♥
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You Want A Certain Type Of Woman; But Are You The Type Of Man That That Type Of Woman Wants?
You want a certain type of woman… but are you the type of man that that type of woman would want?
You say she has to “have her own” but are YOU out of your parent’s house? That includes your grandparents’, cousins’, aunt’s, or uncle’s house too.
Do you have a career or even have a job? You require independence in a woman; yet, you do not possess it yourself.
Can you fill her refrigerator with food? You require your woman to cook for you every day; but do you help her out with groceries?
You say you want your woman to have a car; but do YOU have one?
You say you want a woman with no kids; but…. you have two or three kids yourself??
Or maybe you are the type willing to step up & be a father to her children; yet your own children are walking around father-less.
You want your woman to have a “BANGING” body, and she needs to “compliment you”; but you are 50 pounds overweight.
You said you want a church going woman; but that is confusing because you only attend church on Palm and Easter Sunday.
You want a woman “who knows how to treat a man”; a woman who respects you, admires you, and “lets a man be a man”.
But are YOU respectable…… admirable? Are you a MAN?
You love to point out scriptures like Genesis 2:18 which says woman was made to be man’s helper, and Ephesians 5:22 where it says a WIFE submits to her HUSBAND; yes sir, I’ve read those scriptures. But… I also read in Genesis 2:24 that a man is to LEAVE (keyword) his mother and father and become one with his wife; and I read in 1 Timothy 5:8 that a man who does not provide for his own house has denied the faith & is worse than a non-believer.
There is nothing wrong with wanting an independent, church going woman who cooks & “knows how to treat her man”.. but understand this, that woman wants a certain type of man.
I recently had a conversation with someone from my past; he expressed that he wanted to marry me. I had to be completely honest with him about why he is not the man for me. Besides the fact that he cannot provide for or lead a family he is not TRYING to make his situation better. And that is evidence that he lacks what is most important to me…. striving to become the man that Gods calls him to be. The man for me is in God’s word, a reader and a doer; he understands that he is called to be a leader, a protector, a provider. I had to be quite blunt with him; he is not even ready for me. Not just because he does not have a steady job; not just because he stays with family… but because he is OKAY with it. And because he is okay with staying home with the kids while I work. Excuse me?? If I wanted a wife, I would be with a woman! He seems to desire husband-hood (if that is a word) more than he desires manhood. I told him as nicely and sincerely as I know how that he needs to focus on becoming a man before trying to become a husband.
I am not man bashing nor am I talking down on anyone; in fact, the only man who would be offended by this post is the man described above, who demands so much in a woman but lack those qualities himself. As a man, why would you NOT want to lead, protect, and provide for your woman? Nowadays, women are the ones bringing home the bacon and cooking it too.This is not God’s design for family. Many argue that this is a new day; It may be a “new day” but God’s Word is the same today and forever. And it calls for man (not woman) to be the HEAD of his family.
That is all for now
Love, Mizz K ♥
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Love, Mizz K ♥ 