Tag: Relationships

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Dear Single Women of God,

Don’t ever feel bad or apologetic about your standards. It is one thing to require that a man make a certain salary or be a certain height (those are preferences). It is another if your non-negotiable standards include that a man must at the LEAST be a real man of God who actually has relationship with Him. You may desire a praying man who spends time in God’s Word. And there is nothing wrong with that. I’ve had conversations with quite a few people who have made comments such as “You just might be the one who brings him to the Lord”. No, thank you. I have been there, not once but a few times. And it is not for ME. Sure, we hear stories of how couples met and one was a believer and the other one wasn’t but ended up getting saved and they lived happily ever after. One thing I’ve come to understand is that not everybody’s story will be MY story. So I am not moved when presented with that scenario like I was just recently. I’m glad these conversations are coming up now that I know who I AM. Two or Three years ago I may have been convinced I was asking for too much. But when you know who you are called to be and know your purpose, you understand that you can’t align with just anybody.
Does our relationship glorify God?
Can we win souls together? That’s what I look for. If I’m down and need encouragement, can you pray for me? If he’s still on the fence we’ll both waver during those times. No thanks.
Ladies, we’re talking about the man who will become the head/the priest of our homes who we must submit to. Do not be apologetic about your standards.
Love, Mizz K ♥
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Mizz K is a poet, speaker, and author of Pain, Promiscuity, Purpose: From Mess To Ministry and Not My Goodies
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Steve Harvey Not Fit To Give Relationship Advice?

I’ve recently noticed how many people discredit Steve Harvey’s advice because he’s on his 3rd marriage. But I’d like to think he has learned some valuable lessons from having two failed marriages. Furthermore, when I open up my Bible, I see God has a history of using “UNQUALIFIED” people for His glory.

If Steve Harvey is disqualified as a relationship expert because of his past, that would mean Paul (formerly known as Saul) should have been disqualified from writing the majority of the NT because he was once a Christian-persecuting pharisee.

If Steve Harvey is disqualified as a relationship expert because of his past, an ex-drug addict should be disqualified to speak on the importance of living a drug-free life.

If Steve Harvey is disqualified as a relationship expert because of his past, that means I should be disqualified to teach youth and young adults about the importance of sexual abstinence because of MY promiscuous past.

Get where I’m going? It is our MISTAKES, lessons learned, and hardships that allows us to help those who are where we USED to be. (And if you’re honest, when you’re going through something, you’d rather hear from people who have been where you are.)

God can use EVERYTHING for His good. I’m not a super fan of Steve Harvey who believes everything he says is golden. I just believe we should stop trying to disqualify who God already qualified. If He says yes, who dare say no?

“But how do we even know he is called by God?” One might ask. We don’t. Only he knows. And it’s not even our business. But I know one thing, he is using what he learned to help others.

Serious question… What are YOU doing with the lessons you’ve learned?

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Beautiful Lady, Stop Breaking Your Own Heart 

When you first met him, he chased you for months until you finally gave in and gave him a chance. You got to know him and begin dating and you find yourself liking him…. REALLY liking him. So then you give it up. You become even more attached to him and you begin asking him, So where is this going?” “What are we to each other?” He tells you that he is not ready for a relationship; you are disappointed because you want to be his girlfriend. But you don’t want to push him away by pressuring him so you decide to accept what is and continue playing the girlfriend role even though you are just “friends”. You cook for him, wash his clothes, & begin to have him around your children. You’re spending money that you don’t really have. You’re spending less time with your family and friends because you’re spending more time with him; and you wouldn’t dare look at another man because he is all you want and need. More time has gone past; your feelings are getting stronger, emotions are deeper and you demand that he gives you a relationship or else you walk. This time, his excuse is that things are so great that he does not want to mess anything up by putting a “title” on the relationship. Again, you are disappointed because you want that title but you let it go because you do not want to push him away by pressuring him. So you continue on with the “situationship” and you are not happy because there is no real commitment except his reassurance that he loves you and doesn’t want anybody else except you. After a few months, you find that he is spending less time with you… His “Good morning Beautiful” and “Goodnight Baby” texts have ceased. You begin noticing that other women have begun calling and texting him. He barely answers your calls anymore and you’re lucky if you see him once a week. When you confront him about it, he says he is single and reminds you that he told you from the beginning that he did not want a relationship. He is tired of the “pressure” so he leaves. He won’t return your calls nor texts. Now you are heartbroken… Crying yourself to sleep every night and beating yourself up for being so stupid again. Now you have to explain to your children why he is not around anymore. 

How do I know this scenario so well? Because I’ve been there and I know a lot of other women that’s been there too! And you know what, we all did it to ourselves. Let me tell you how.


First off, we should have our minds made up about what we will and will NOT accept..  And stick to it. And When a man says he does not want a relationship, HE DOES NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP! Either he really doesn’t want one or he does want one, but not with you. Either way, you have a choice. You could either continue to date this man and accept that he is not going to be with you; OR, keep it moving if you know that a relationship is what you really want. Don’t stick around hoping to change his mind. More importantly, do NOT have sex with a man who is not your husband! Yep I said it. Before I tell you why I have a quick story:
I had decided that I was going to be abstinent until I got married. I was still dating and I had friends but I had my mind made up that I would never have sex again unless I was married. Well, I had this one friend who I began to spend a lot of time with… too much time actually. I knew that I should have kept myself out of compromising situations that would tempt me to sleep with him; it was easy at first until we started spending time alone. We would kiss and fondle each other but not have sex. I found myself fantasizing about making love to him; I would feel guilty about my thoughts because I knew that according to the Bible, fantasizing was just as worse as actually doing it. So to make myself feel better about fantasizing about him, I would pretend that we were married so at least I wouldn’t be fantasizing about sinning. (Yeah right) This made me want him even more. He was actually okay with the fact that I was waiting until marriage so it wasn’t like he was pressuring me or anything. But… I eventually gave into the temptation to have sex with him. Needless to say, things didn’t work out with him but because of the deep emotions I developed for him it was so hard to let go of the situation. Not only was I hurt because things did not work out, but I had a deep sense of guilt. I had made a promise to God that I would remain abstinent until I got married but I fell into temptation. I had never regretted something so much; I grew impatient and could not wait for marriage. I needed to fulfill my needs. Even knowing that God told me years ago that the man I fornicate with will not be my husband. Still I gave in. And got hurt. But, I did that to myself.
When we decide to open ourselves up to a man sexually, we open up ourselves to possible heartache and pain. Sex is something that is to be shared between HUSBAND and WIFE to procreate and express their love to one another. I don’t think that God is trying to “take the fun out life” by commanding us not to fornicate. I think part of the reason is that He’s protecting us. Think about it. How hurt were you when you stopped dating someone who you had never slept with? I’ll wait. Now, think about how hurt you were when things did not work out with someone who you shared your body with? When two people have sex, it is said that their souls connect which is why they become so attached…even more for women because we are naturally more emotional.
It is time for you to realize that a lot of what you are going through is your own fault. A man cannot use you for sex if you are not having sex with him. It is time for you to stop putting yourself through the pain. Stop being a “wife” to a man who is not your husband.
It took me a long time and a whole lot of mistakes to think the way I do now. I am at a point now where I am not settling; I am not accepting less than what God has for me; I am not giving my body to a man who is not my husband; I refuse to break my own heart!
I know you are probably tired of seeing people say “know your worth!” But ladies, you really do need to learn WHO you are. Get into God’s Word & see what He has to say about you. I did and it saved me from myself.
I’m getting to know myself more & more and I am AMAZING!
Love, Mizz K ♥

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© Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK', 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK' with appropriate and specific direction to the original content