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Do You Pay More Attention To Your ‘News Feed’ Than You Do Your Child?

“It’s just Facebook!” We all like to say that, but is it really? I read a story this morning about how a mother did not realize she was addicted to social media until her small daughter expressed that she felt like her Mommy liked the computer more than she liked her. It made me think of a similar experience I had with my own daughter. One day I was in my phone reading; I do not remember what it was but I do remember that my daughter kept asking me questions. I was so into what I was reading that I was not paying her any attention. I can remember nodding and saying okay a few times. Then she burst out and said, “Mommy you don’t pay me any attention anymore. You’re always in your phone!” I looked at her and she looked like she was about to cry. I realized her feelings were hurt. I put down my phone, hugged her and told her that I was sorry and I will do better.

Now, this wasn’t something I was hearing for the first time. I have been told by countless people that I’m always in my phone and don’t pay attention. Every single guy that I have ever dated has complained about me not paying them any attention because I’m always in my phone. My aunt, before she passed away, would always tell me put away my phone. When my father is riding in my car, he points out that whatever it is I’m looking at in my phone when I stop at a red light can wait. None of that phased me though. It’s my phone and I pay the bill so I can be on my phone all day and night if I pleased. Until it came out of my daughter’s mouth. When she said it, I finally heard it. I was addicted to my phone. Whether I was browsing Facebook, Instagram, or reading the mag articles that are sent to my email daily, I was in my phone constantly. I was online more than I was present with my baby. Sometimes I would plan to just get online and browse for a minute to see what’s going on. A minute would turn into 30 minutes and then an hour. Next thing I know hours would have gone past and I still needed to cook dinner, clean, or check homework.

I am sharing this to bring light to the fact that we don’t realize that the little bit of time we think we are spending on social media adds up to hours. Sometimes as many hours as we spend at work! If you don’t know if you are addicted, ask yourself how often you get on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. Do you find yourself at a red light pulling out your phone “just to see what’s going on”? Do you find yourself falling behind at work or school because a few minutes of browsing turned into hours of commenting, liking, and sharing posts? Do you find that you are on social media from the time your child comes home from school up until he or she is gone to bed? If so, I hope you can admit it and begin taking the necessary steps to fight this addiction. It’s just as bad as being addicted to drugs, alcohol, or sex. Addictions of any kind are unhealthy.

I am not saying that social media is a bad thing. I’m not saying that at all. It’s a great way to stay connected to the people you care about who live far away. It’s a great way to network and market your business. It’s a great way to evangelize to this lost world. What I am saying, though, is that social media addiction is real and our children are affected more than we realize.

I cannot pretend that I am completely over my addiction. It’s definitely a process as I am always tempted to get on my phone. I try to use social media now to do what I’m called to do, spread the Word of God and bring others to the feet of Christ. And I’ve been including my daughter in that. When I write, I let her proofread and give me her opinion. She is waiting at this very moment for me to finish this article so that she can read it before I publish it lol. She is almost 10 years old and time is flying. One day I will look back and wish I spent every single second with her hugging and loving on her. This is what makes me deactivate my accounts to take a break when I find myself online constantly. This is what makes me delete the apps from my phone. This is what makes me leave my phone upstairs when we are eating or watching a movie together.  I never want her to believe that she comes second to social media.

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© Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK', 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK' with appropriate and specific direction to the original content
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Out Of The Mouth Of A Babe

It’s amazing how God talks to me sometimes. He uses the least expected people. He has used my daughter quite a few times to remind me of some things but today He really sat me down.
After picking her up from school, my daughter (9 years old) and I were in the car sitting at a red light. She was looking out the window over at a homeless man lying on the ground. She said, “Mommy look at that homeless man over there.”
I said to her, “I know it’s sad, we just have to pray for him.” The light turned green and I continued on. Once we drove a couple of blocks down, she said “Mommy lets buy him something to eat”.
Now, I have to be completely honest. In my mind I was hoping that thought quickly left her head. I was not in the mood to go into my little bit of money and buy this homeless man something to eat. Plus it would mean making a U-turn and getting back into traffic. So I said, “Maybe next time, there’s no place to buy anything to eat right here”.  I was so hoping she would say okay and leave it alone. But she persisted. And persisted. She said, “Yes it is places to eat Mommy lets just get him something to eat today please”. I felt so bad because she was right. There was a Chinese carry-out on the next street over. So we went and got him some Chinese food. As I was looking through my purse for a five dollar bill, she was telling me to hurry because “he looked really hungry”. I told her that I needed to find that five dollar bill because I did not want to break my last $20. She said, “Just break it Mommy”. So I did.
My daughter has never sounded so mature, and so serious. I believe it was God talking to me through her. It’s no coincidence that I’m currently reading a book, called Your Money Counts; it’s a “biblical guide for budgeting, spending, and giving” which has told me over and over again to GIVE GIVE GIVE!! I have been praying to God to change my heart because I have never been a “giver”. It’s easy to just start giving but I pray for a cheerful heart. The Bible says that it’s more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). It also says that we should give cheerfully (2 Corinthians 9:7). So I not only want to give but I want to LOVE and get joy from giving. It is truly amazing how God has been transforming my thinking on the whole subject of money and giving while reading this book and studying what the Bible says about it. I’m so glad that He’s answering my prayer and that He used my baby to remind me of what I prayed for.

I would have missed my opportunity to give to someone in need today if it had not been for my daughter’s persistence.  I was so proud of her, I had no words. I was in awe of how happy she was afterwards. She said to me, “I can’t believe I did that. I’m so happy”. I said, “Yes me too. I’m glad I had some money on me so we could do that for him”. She said, “You had money on you because God wanted you to do that.”

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© Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK', 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK' with appropriate and specific direction to the original content
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God Will Never Put More On Us Than What We Can Bear

“God will never put more on us than what we can bear.”  How many times have you said this to someone who suffered a loss? How many times have you written, texted, emailed this to someone who lost their job, their home, or their marriage? I would love to know where God tells us this in the scriptures. It’s not there. But it is a phrase that we all quote, most often when we are trying to comfort someone. I’ve said it many times myself; I even made a video preaching this very quote. It wasn’t until I came across the scripture that this quote derived from that I realized that we’ve had it wrong this entire time. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says: No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. In this chapter, Paul is talking to the church at Corinth about not making the same mistakes as their ancestors did in the Old Testament. In this particular verse, he tells them that the temptations they face are no different than what others face, and that God will always show them a way out so that they can endure. So you see, this verse is not talking about suffering nor trials and tribulations. (That is another subject I’ll talk about on another post)

While it may be comforting to think that God would never allow us to go through anything that He knows we cannot handle, it is not the truth. The truth is, we will endure pain, we will endure troubles, we will endure suffering that we will not be able to bear. ALONE. If we could bear it alone why would we need to lean on Him for comfort? Why would we need to call on the name Jesus? Why would we need to look to His Word for understanding? It is my understanding that God allows us to suffer for two reasons: to produce perseverance and character in us (Romans 5: 3-4; James 1:2-4 NLT) and to bring Him glory (1Peter 4:19; Isaiah 48:10 NLT). (Then there’s that stuff we bring on ourselves. Later post though!)

Our suffering also makes us lean on Him for strength. Do you know anyone who seems to never talk about or even acknowledge God until something goes wrong in their lives? Well it is because even they know that they cannot handle it on their own. I can say from experience that it was during my suffering and seasons of brokenness that truly made me call on the Lord. When I think back on some of my hardest trials, I know there’s NO way I could have got through it if I tried to bear them on my own.

I think sometimes we say things that we intentionally mean for good. Sometimes we believe we are quoting scripture, but all we’re doing is passing on quotes that sound good. The best thing we can do when trying to comfort someone is to point them in the direction of the Lord. There’s going to be many things that come up in our lives which are much BIGGER than us but nothing is too big for the Lord. He wants us to call on Him; he wants the glory out of our lives. If we could handle this world ourselves, Christ wouldn’t have needed to die for us. If we could handle the world ourselves, He never would have sent the Holy Spirit to guide, comfort, and counsel us. I could go on for pages on this particular subject as I write from personal experiences, but I will end it here with a prayer.

Lord, I thank You for knowing that I cannot bear the trials of this world on my own. And I thank You for knowing that I cannot overcome the sin of this world on my own. So You sent your Son, Your Word made Flesh, to bear it all for me and to suffer and die for my sins. I am not worthy, yet You chose me. For that, I am eternally grateful. In Jesus name. Amen.

Love, Mizz K ♥

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