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Do You Ever Feel Like a Horrible Mother?

You know you aren’t really a horrible mother, but sometimes you know could have said or done something differently?

Being a good mother is the most important thing to me, so I am always critiquing myself.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

“That was too harsh.”

“I should have been more firm.” 

“I’m too hard on her.”

“I’m not hard enough.”

I stress myself out sometimes worrying about whether I’m doing the right thing. I’ve been told to relax and I know I need to, but sometimes it’s easier said. I can be having a great day, but when something is off with my daughter, it can ruin my entire day. I know that’s not good, but it’s true 😕

I think as Mommies, we’ll always have that worry that we didn’t handle things the way we should have. I supposed it’s because we love our babies so much that we want to handle things “perfectly.”

Working Mommies, do you ever feel guilty about working??

I mean, I have to work to pay the bills and my daughter knows it, but I still see that hint of disappointment when I tell her I can’t make it to her school program or that I can’t go on a trip.

I would love to be able to be a school mom like my mother was, always at the school helping out and chaperoning on trips. But Mama gotta work!

Sigh.

People often tell me, “You’re such a great mother.” And I appreciate it. But to be honest, sometimes I don’t feel so great. I write about why in Confession From An Imperfect Mother and I suppose I’m still going through the process of reconciling with that part of my past. I have to continually pray to counter those guilty feelings that try to creep in from time to time.

It’s an everyday struggle and every day I pray for God to help me keep the faith that everything is going to be alright.
Ok. My rant is over lol. Was having a moment.

 

-Mizz K ♥

 

us kiss

 

 

 

 

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How Big Is Your Plate?

Recently I was listening to one of my favorite Christian radio shows, “Focus on the Family” and I heard the guest, Kathi Lipp, talk about “knowing how big your plate is.” In other words, knowing how much you can handle. Some people have turkey platters while others have tea saucers, as Kathi puts it. It’s important to know how big YOUR plate is and be realistic about it.

Sometimes as women and mothers, we look at other women and see how much they have going on and suddenly feel like we’re not doing enough. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been guilty of that. I remember at one point looking at other mothers who were active in their community, involved in their child’s school and other extracurricular activities, all while running a business and it made me feel like I should be doing more. What I had to realize and what hearing Kathi Lipp’s message reaffirmed was just because other moms could have all of that going on didn’t mean I could too. I had to be realistic about my schedule. Homework and preparing dinner are always the first two things on the agenda when my daughter and I get home; and then there’s her dance classes, my business, my writing, and other events on any given day. My busy just looks different from other moms’ busy, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

You may go to work and come home every day with nothing in between and be completely worn out. And that’s okay. That’s YOUR busy. There are so many factors to consider- the type and amount of work one does, physical capacity, priorities, childcare, etc. No two people are the same, so we should never compare ourselves to anyone else. It’s the best way to be unhappy.

And Mommies, it’s also okay to have absolutely NOTHING going on!

 

-Mizz K ♥

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When I was a senior in high school…

When I was a senior in high school, I entered a poetry contest and won 1st place at my school and 2nd place citywide. I won some prizes and my poem was published in a magazine.

About a year after I graduated high school, I got my first job and went to school for medical assisting.

When I got pregnant at 19 and got put out of the house, I went to a youth shelter/transitional living for 2 years. While there, I bought my first car and I had almost $4,000 saved up when I moved out of transitional living into my first apartment.

When I was 26, I went back to school and got a degree online.

At 31, I just completed the biggest project I have ever completed and now working on project number 2 and 3.

Am I BRAGGING? Never!
So what’s my point??

 

This…
When I look back over my life at the “BIG” things I’ve done, I realize there’s a commonality- I was alone. It was when I separated myself from “the crowd” that I was able to FOCUS and accomplish great things. Sometimes, being “on every scene”, hanging around a bunch of people, and even sitting on the phone in idle chatter can hinder progression.

I’m not suggesting that you get rid of your friends and stop talking on the phone; I’m challenging you to separate yourself from the crowd for awhile and see what you can accomplish.

You’d be surprised.