A Conversation With God

I wrote this about 10 years ago when I was pregnant with my daughter and I just came across it while going through some of my old things. I was in a bible study and the teacher gave us a poem where the writer had questions for God; our assignment was to write something similar. It is very short and I didn’t think much of it while I was writing if I was even thinking at all; in my mind I was just completing an assignment. I remember finishing it in about 10 minutes because I did not put any effort into at all. I didn’t know why I was writing this conversation; it wasn’t like it had actually happened. Now that I look back, I realize now that maybe I was asking for something and didn’t know I was. But God knew. At the time of writing this I was 19 years old and pregnant, alone, and living in a youth shelter. I did not think much of myself but I am so thankful that God did. Now that I look back on what has happened in my life in the past 10 years since writing this, He has truly been amazing… I will never be able to put it into words. 

A Conversation With God

I asked God if He loves me & He said, ” Yes”

I asked God if my mother was still around and He said ” Sssh, listen”… and I heard her voice…

I asked God for a chance and He gave me a new life…

I looked in my refrigerator and it was bare. I asked God for something to eat. He told me to close the refrigerator and open it again. I did as He said and when I opened it, there was enough food to last me for months…

I asked God for a dollar and He gave me fifty. I asked God, “Am I worthy of this?” and He gave me fifty more…

I asked God for guidance and He handed me the Bible…

I asked God, ” Who can help me better myself? Who can help me become a better daughter, a more considerate sister, a more loving niece, a more giving aunt, a kinder cousin, & a more compassionate friend? Who can help me become a heaven-approving mother?” He handed me a mirror.

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From The First Day We Met (My experience with love at first sight)

I remember the first day we met.

I looked at you, you looked at me… and I knew I would love you forever.

It was shaky in the beginning. I had to get used to you.

I had never had anyone like you in my life prior to our meeting.

You are so different

You always make me feel special, so appreciated, so loved. 

You keep me laughing through my tears & inspire me to be brave and face my fears.

You love me when I yell and scream… you love me when I fail…. 

You love me even when I am not my best self… you love me when my hair is not done…. you love me when I’m first waking up with morning breath. 

This journey with you has not been easy; but I would not trade it for anything. 

Every time you smile at me, my heart melts. You wouldn’t know this but I sometimes watch you while you sleep. It tickles me to see you smiling in your sleep. I wonder if you are dreaming about me.

I watch you and I thank God everyday for blessing my life with your presence.

There is nothing I love more than you but He who created us.

Kyelia, Mommy has loved you from the very first day we met.

I love you even more today, and my love for you will be much, much stronger tomorrow 

Love, Mommy

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Thank You

 It was your mean words….

It was your turning your back on me when I needed you most…

It was your telling me that I would turn out just like my mother…

It was your beating me for no reason other than being BORN…

It was your burning my innocent 3 year old fingers on a gas stove…

It was your calling me ugly…

It was your calling me stupid…

It was your calling me B*tch as if it was my name…

It was your talking about me behind my back…

It was your telling me that I would never be anything…

It was your saying that there was no hope for me…

It was your turning your back on my daughter and living the life as if you have no children…

It was your pretending to be my best friend so that I let you in the way I’ve never let anyone in only for you to betray me…

It was your leaving me out & making sure to remind me every chance you got that I was not really apart of the family…

It was your turning your nose up at me because of my dark skin…

It was your selfishness when I loss the one person who was my EVERYTHING and all you could ask was “what did she leave ME??”

It was your telling me that you care nothing for me nor my daughter even though we are your blood…

It was your stealing from me…

It was your touching me in places you knew were forbidden but you were so HORNY & PERVERTED that all you cared about was getting yourself off, forget the fact that I was only a child!!

It was your not liking me for no reason…

It was your envy turned hate…

It was your judging me…

It was your wishing for my failure…

that ALMOST took me out!

anoint my head

Instead, I grew STRONGER… I worked HARDER…. I pushed FARTHER…. I became DETERMINED to prove all my naysayers wrong.

Most importantly, I ran away from the WORLD and into the arms of my Saviour never to look back. He wiped away my tears that I cried for so long… made me secure in my moments of insecurity. Gave me a sound mind when I should have been crazy. Helped me to love because He first loved me. Taught me to forgive by forgiving me. I have wanted for nothing; He has provided exceedingly and abundantly above all that I can ask or think. He’s favored me, had mercy on me, saved me, blessed me, anointed me, kept me…. elevated me

All in the presence of my Enemies

 -Mizz K ♥

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over, Psalm 23:5 

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© Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK', 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Kendra Fowler and 'LoveMizzK' with appropriate and specific direction to the original content