Five years ago, I was engaged to a man I loved but wasn’t in love with. Deep down, I knew I shouldn’t marry him as the only thing that excited me about marrying him was the actual wedding itself. I didn’t get excited at the thought of spending the rest of my life with him, nor did I get excited about taking on his last name. I was only excited about walking down the aisle in a beautiful wedding gown. I was even more excited about having “in-house” (some of you know what this is). In my mind, I NEEDED to get married. It was the only way to “CURE” my promiscuity.
Needless to say, I did not end up marrying him and I’m so glad I didn’t because I’m pretty sure I would have cheated on him. See, I had yet to address my problem. It wouldn’t be until about 2 years later that I would realize that I had an addiction. And there was no way I could be disciplined in marriage if I couldn’t be disciplined in my singleness. Many people (like myself at one point) think that getting married is the cure to sexual addiction because once they’re married “they can get it all the time”. But the truth is, if we don’t practice sexual purity while we are still single, it will not miraculously get easier once we’re married. I know women who are married to men with mistresses– pornography and masturbation. The man has no need for the woman because he’s good all by himself. I know women who are married and are unsatisfied with their husbands because they need something “new”.
Knowing this is what happens when one does not overcome sexual addiction in their singleness, I refused to let that be my story. I literally cried out to God to free me. And then I begin taking the necessary steps to overcome. I just wanted to tell somebody today that marriage does not cure sexual addiction. If you are addicted to masturbation, pornography, multiple partners, while you are still single…. that addiction is not going to magically disappear once you say “I do”. NOW is the time to start practicing sexual purity. I’m telling you…. 2 years… and I’ve never felt more FREE.
If you need prayer, advice or tips on how to abstain, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be happy to share what I did and what I do. I know the struggle and I know its REAL!
~ Love, Mizz K 💜